you try so hard but none of it matters

I’m never content with anything in my life. I always feel that something bigger needs to be accomplished. I should be content with my life. I’m healthy, I’m educated, I have a family that loves me, friends I trust, and goals. I’ve never experienced a death in my personal sphere and I pray to god that it stays that way. I don’t know why I’m never content. I always dwell on the past. I need to shed these old habits and make room for new. I need progress. I don’t want to visit my past anymore.

experimentation

my current emotions >> my current playlist
The Man Who Can't be Moved - The Script
Kids - Mgmt
Heartless (cover) - The Fray
Never Say Never - The Fray
Street Lights - Kanye West
Speed of Sound - Coldplay
Don't Panic - Coldplay
Brown Eyes - Lady Gaga
Set Down Your Glass - Snow Patrol
The Planets Bend Between Us - Snow Patrol
Comin' Home - City and Colour



I ramble, I rant, I write as if no one else is going to read it and quite honestly I could care less if people read it or not. I'm me. I can't change for you no matter how much you would like that. I do hold things back, not because I can't bear the thought of other people reading it, but because I don't want to admit those things to myself. I enjoy the beauties in life but I also hate the smallest things that irritate me. I'm only human. I can only achieve the amount any other human being can.

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Do what feels right to you. We’re all different, each and every 8 billion of us are individuals. We don't look alike and we definitely don't think alike. Choose to be yourself.

sizzle, hush, click, bang

We define what's impossible. Everything is a state of mind. The only person who can ever stop you from doing something is yourself. Life is boundless. Free yourself from yourself.

Never at Bliss

Even as a I kick back to relax, the ache of life comes creeping next to me, taking comfort at all my sighs and moans. It will never settle for less than pain inflicted to myself and others. Even as I sip my favourite specialty coffee beverage, and sink into the comfiest seat in the room, the pain seeks me.

I'm trapped.

i wish i had a big grey scarf to go with this. Something like this.

Escapism

People do it for various reasons; which could vary from family problems, to hard living conditions, to even physical or emotional abuse. But, no matter the problem we all do it. Everyone has to admit that they're not happy with one thing or another in their lives, and why wouldn't we be. Especially in our society where we're taught that striving for the very best is the only possible way to have a happy life. Along the way there are always people who are putting us down and quoting cliché’s like, "there's always someone better in the world". Disappearing for a few hours a week if not more into fantasy, love, and worriless is the least we can do for ourselves under all the pressure. We are not cowards for doing it. Anyone who denies ever being an escapist is in denial. Any medium used as entertainment can be a form of escapism.

I am far more than guilty for being an escapist. I've used/use various mediums such as films, literature, television series, religion, friends, internet chatrooms, video games, and clothing. The only time being an escapist could be a bad thing is when it becomes an addiction. Pace yourself. Don't go overboard. Don't make escapism your life.

Lady Gaga

Lady GaGa is a pop icon sensation of our modern culture. She pushes limits and dissolves society's bounding box. Lady GaGa's style is her own, it can be imitated but never duplicated. It's nice to see someone different in mainstream music, if that's even possible. As an artist she knows what she's doing and how the business works. In her song lovegame she was very clever with her metaphor of a discostick. She carries a wand which is stature for royalty and the divine. The queen of England as well as pharos in Egpyt all carried wands. Her "discostick" is swaying us as she takes over the pop charts and changes modern pop culture indefinitely. Long live pop and the new queen of pop Lady GaGa.

click link to download MP3

Lady Gaga - Fashion (http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9NGQYO3P)
Lady Gaga - Lovegame (http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XQUFE67S)

*MESSAGE ME IF LINKS ARE BROKEN*

Coffee Shop

I love the rush of people outside in the downtown sceneric surrounding. The window like walls act as sound barriers to incapsulate myself and the classical music of the 50's to achieve a serene atmosphere. The lives of hundred's of thousands of people pass by as I indulge in my sweetend capucinno and fictional novel.